Jean Stockdale...

Under Grace - Over Coffee

Craig and I were blessed to raise and release 2 great sons. Both boys are married and have babies of their own. We are so proud of the godly men they have become and the households of faith they are busy building. John wrote, "I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth." (III John 6). Amen to that!

When the boys lived at home, I was surrounded by males. The only female in the family, I lived in a male dominated household! It was loud at my house. Music blared. ESPN was always flickering the tv. Food was recklessly consumed. Seven gallons of milk was downed each week - much of it right out of the jug. Volumes of laundry was generated at an alarming rate. Bags of chips and boxes of Little Debbies were inhaled. The teen-aged habit of moving in herds filled our house with lots of their friends who could move through my pantry like a plague of locusts. 

Because I was the only female, my husband took to calling me "The Queen." And, I must add, he treated me like one and trained my boys to do the same. Last Monday night I was at a meeting with the sweet MOMMAS that help me in the MOMS MINISTRY, a weekly Bible study I teach at Bellevue Baptist Church. (You can participate in the study of Ephesians on-line by clicking here. You can watch the 45 minute video message by clicking here.) Cathy Huber, my assistant, wrote out my name tag.

 

It's good to be "The Queen." Blessings.

For more Under Grace - Over Coffee click here. Thanks to for hosting this meme.

Word Filled Wednesday

Word of God speak . . .

 

"Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy." 

Psalm 33:3

Jason and Declan (2 years old and minus a shoe!) share a moment of worship and praise after the Sunday evening service. This is what I call a "kiss from the King!"

Sweet MOMS, I want to invite you to study God's Word online with me. For 21 years I have been writing and teaching a Bible study for MOMS. On September 17, I am beginning a my new series for MOMS on the Book of Ephesians called "High Stepping in Heavenly Places." Using personal illustrations to teach Biblical principles, I will be sharing God's Word with practical applications and large doses of sanctified humor. For the first time, we are going to offer an online study for MOMS. If this sounds like something you might be interested in, please check back on Monday for more details. 

In the meantime, download one of my PODCAST messages on Philippians to get acquainted with my style of teaching. I hope for an opportunity to instruct you and encourage you in the Word of God! Please invite all your MOMMY friends. From moms with toddlers to teens to turning loose adult children, I am inviting you to grab a Bible and a pen and join us online for a MOMS Bible study!! Blessings. 

Now for more Word Filled Wednesday click here. Our hostess this week is Penny Raine. Leave her a comment and thank her for creating another opportunity for us to share God's Word online! And stop back by my blog on Friday to play 5 Things Friday with me. This week is 5 of Your Favorite Things. Post photos or use your words to describe 5 of Your Favorite Things.

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Know for Sure:

As a young mom I wish I had known these five things. I think this knowledge would have enabled me to relax and enjoy the ride of motherhood just a bit more.

1. I wish I had known that one day my grown son would sit down and ask me, "So, tell me about your day."

2. I wish I had known that one day I will be able to go to sleep without wondering if a child would wake me up.

3. I wish I had known that one day my house would be so quiet that I would long for the noises that accompany a house full of kids.

4. I wish I had known that one day my grandchildren would love making noise and I would secretly smile at the full-circle moment. Two little boys in a tiny cottage home make lots and lots of noise. I did not like noise. They did. This was sweet payback, if you ask me. Payback. That's what I call it. Payback!

5. I wish I had known that my two boys would become great friends. At times, sibling rivalry was so strong-along with a natural competitive bent boys are created with-that I assumed our boys would not even be speaking to each other. Turns out they are great friends. What a blessing.

When I was a mom with little guys, I was convinced I was in the process of scarring my boys beyond repair. I expected to spend their college tuition on professional counseling to repair the emotional damage I had done to their psyche. I felt overwhelmed, overtired, overwrought, and under-qualified. 

The Lord Jesus was well-pleased with the widow's mite, saying she did would she could. Others did more. Others gave more. Others had more to give. But she gave what SHE COULD. As I mothered, I did what I COULD. Other moms did more, gave more, and had more to give. But God multiplied the work of my hands as I surrendered to Him. 

As a young mom I never felt adequate, but I continually cast myself on His grace as I raised my children. It was not always pretty. It was not always tidy. I was not always consistent in my efforts, but God knew my heart and He helped my boys to know my heart as well. He helped my sons overlook my momentary failures of the flesh and see my heart's desire, which was to pursue with passion the Lord Jesus Christ. He crowned my mothering efforts with His glory and produced 2 young men who are seeking after Him. I wish I had known that when my guys were little. Now you do! Perhaps this will help. Blessings.

Multiple Kid Mondays

As a Christian mom, I quickly discovered the presence of an  internal tension as I was training up my boys in the way they should go. I was forced to come to grips with the awesome responsibility God had entrusted me in the spiritual training of my children. Not only was I responsible for the physical well-being, the social development, and the intellectual training of my offspring, but above all things I wanted to see them come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior and walk in His ways all the days of their lives.

This desire to give my children a hunger for the things of God led me to study God's Word. I was desperate to know Him in order to influence my children for the cause of Christ. I knew I could not believe FOR them. That would be a personal decision between them and the Lord. My role was to live the reality of my faith and trust in the contagious nature of a life infused with Jesus Christ. 

My lifeline became the Book of Proverbs. Every day I read a chapter of Proverbs. With 31 chapters, in a month's time I could make my way through the book. At the end of the month I started the process over again. Over and over again, i soaked in God's wisdom scripted in the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs is uniquely written as a collection of God's precepts and principles for living a lift that honors Him.

My advise for raising children is to saturate your soul with the Word of God and surrender yourself to His Spirit in obedience, confidently trusting in Him to do the work in your life and in the lives of your children that only He can do. My buddy, Wendy, is hosting Multiple Kid Mondays. Click here to read more and add your thoughts on your blog and blog along with us! Blessings.

The Difference Between Childishness and Disobedience

As you parent your multiples (or singles!) learn to tell the difference between childishness and disobedience. Children do childish things. It is born out of immaturity, not defiance. It includes spilling things, breaking things, losing things, etc. Childishness does not deserve discipline. It  must be trained and taught into maturity, but it is not the same as defiantly refusing to obey, which is disobedience. 

Moms, "be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20). Moms, as you attempt to judge your child's behavior, be slow to discern if it is childishness or disobedience. Be slow to react or respond. And if it is disobedience, and requires a measure of discipline - be very sure you do allow your frustration and aggravation to push you to punish in anger. 

There is a difference between childishness and disobedience. Learn to discern! For more tips on mothering with multiple kiddos, click here and go to Wendy's site at Mommy Of Four. Blessings.

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Wished I Had Known as a Young Mom

1. That sibling rivalry is very normal. For a few years there, I did not think my boys would be even be speaking by the time they left home! But in time, the childishness of sibling rivalry gave way to a strong friendship between my guys.

2. My guys would not be bound by fear. I came to know Christ as Lord and Savior at the age of 24. One of the many issues I brought into my Christian life was fear-an unhealthy ungrounded fear of everything! I began to work towards learning how to overcome fear and walk in faith. I was concerned that I might emotionally handicap my guys with this issue. The day I got a call from my son, who was backpacking Europe with college friends, to tell me he had just bungee jumped . . . well, I knew I had successfully not passed on this natural tendency of mine!

3. God was preparing the most fabulous mates for my men. I wish I had known I would get "bonus babies." That is what I call my daughter-in-laws. We got us some girls and I did not have to birth them, or raise them. Instead they arrived in my home (and in my heart) fully grown, in love with the Lord, and in love with my guys. 

4. God would prove Himself faithful in more ways than I can count.

5. While I was mothering my boys, God was parenting me! He used my boys to teach me so much about the Father's love, His patience, His grace and His unfailing mercy.

I wish I had know these things as I sought to raise up these boys in the way they should go. Both guys are now married and have babies of their own. If you are still in the midst of mothering, I rise up and call you blessed!

Joy in the Journey

Mothering is a tough job. It is usually thankless and it can quickly steal your joy. How do you have joy when life falls apart? How can you have joy when difficult circumstances threaten you? I it even possible to have joy in the midst of the hard seasons of life?

Do you want to have joy? Not just happiness when the circumstances of life are producing a respite. I am talking about joy-hilarious, unspeakable, outrageous, unending JOY. Joy that springs forth from the wellsprings of a continual river that flows from your innermost being. I am talking about the joy that only Jesus gives.

Paul wrote the book of Philippians during one of his imprisonments. Chained to a Roman guard and confined to house arrest for two years, he wrote of the outrageous joy that Jesus provides. Join us on Thursday morning at 10:45 CT at www.bellevue.org for a live video feed of a message entitled "Choose Joy!" Click on Watch & Listen Live and follow the directions. A handout of the message will be provided later in the day. So grab you Bible and come and study along with us.

To purchase a the Bible study of Joy in the Journey, click to www.jeanstockdale.com. The 200-page interactive workbooks sell for $15.00 plus s/h. Full of profound truth, practical insight and personal illustrations, I invite you to come along and enjoy the faith walk of joy in Jesus Christ.

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Wished I Had Known When My Kids Were Little:

1. They were going to turn out to be great and godly adults. We would enjoy a wonderful adult relationship and friendship with them.

2. My boys would grow up to be really good friends. During the days of brotherly competitiveness and sibling rivalry, I wondered if they would even like each other! Turns out, a strong bond of love was being forged that produced a great adult friendship.

3. Forgiveness from my boys would be freely and fully offered when I apologized and asked for forgiveness. Neither ever seemed to hold a grudge for any of my many failures.

4. When the boys were little, I wish I had known how few of the things I obsessed over, would actually end up mattering in the scheme of things.

5. When they were little, I wish I had understood that the best memories made were not my carefully crafted events, but rather the spontaneous moments of family. The boys knew Craig and I were striving to be blameless before them in the Lord, and they admired us for it.

I wish I had known these things when my kids were young.

How To Study the Bible

I have recently written a Bible study especially for MOMS on the life of Esther. As Christians, we have been placed into the body of Christ and the family of God. We are daughters of the King. But, let's face it. Most of us are hardly living up to our royal privilege on a daily basis. The Christian life is hard all by itself. Add the role of wife and MOM to it and you have a volatile situation!

"Teach me how to study the Bible," is the frequent request I get, whether I am speaking at Women's Conferences or to my own Bible study for MOMS. Perhaps, you fall into this category as well. You love God. You love God's Word, but you don't really know how to take it apart, verse by verse, and study it.

I have written a Bible study, specifically for MOMS, on the life of Esther. Full of practical applications, personal illustrations, and profound Biblical truth, this study will teach you how to study the Bible and how to apply God's TRUTH to your live.

The accompanying 10-week videos are currently archived. To view the first one, click here. To view the video, click on the button Fall Moms 2008 and scroll down to the first lesson, Sept. 11, 2008. Press play. To purchase the workbook-styled Bible study on Esther, entitled "Live Like a Queen", click here. To purchase the accompanying 10-week CDs or DVDs for use in your home or small group, click here. For information on adding this 10-week MOMS program to your church,click here. To contact me, email me at [email protected].

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Know to be True About Mothering:

1. God requires I am blameless, not perfect. Practically speaking, we can never be perfect until we receive our glorified bodies and are made like Jesus Christ. So obviously none of us can be a perfect mother, but we can be blameless. When we blow it with one of our kids (and we do over and over again) we need to ask forgiveness from our children, ask forgiveness from the Father, and then continue on in our walk of faith. By keeping short sin accounts and making sure no offense remains between us and our children, we walk blamelessly before our family and the Lord.

2. Nothing improves the hearing like praise! Affirm your children often, especially when you see Christian character developing.

3. Children are resilient if they know they are loved. 

4. Children want authenticity. Even young children can spot hypocrisy and they despise it.

5. Children want parents to set limits and enforce them consistently. Moms need to understand that it is their child's "job" to test the limits! Expect it.

For more Five Things Friday, check in next week! Blessings.

An Open Letter to Michelle Obama

This is a reprint of the article I wrote for the Commercial Appeal. The article appeared January 14, 2009. It is an open letter to Michelle Obama-from one mom to another-as she embarks on the mothering adventure of a lifetime. I based my remarks on Proverbs 31, the most concise description of the godly traits of a woman who fears God, because becoming a good mom is directly related to becoming a godly woman!

Dear Michelle

This letter carries a commitment to pray for you and your family as you prepare to take up residence in the White House. I can only imagine the dramatic changes you are facing. As the First Family, you are about to move into a "glass house." The glare of the spotlight will be intense.

Right or wrong, your family life will be put under the microscope of public opinion. While your girls did not ask for the scrutiny that will accompany their father's presidency, there is no denying that they will feel the effects of it. So what's a mom to do?

I would like to offer you some advice in the fine art of Christian mothering from the Book of Proverbs and from one mom's heart to another.

First, honor your husband. Be loving and supportive to him. Prov. 31:11 says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (NASV)"

Your husband always needs to know you are in his corner, but he will especially need your support during the demanding days of his administration. And your girls need the security of knowing that although much in their lives has changed, your love for their daddy has not.

Second, cherish your children. Demonstrate a Godly example for your children because our examples impact them most. Live an uncompromising lifestyle before them.

Prov. 31:25-27 says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household."

Finally, your greatest legacy in the lives of your children will be the Godly influence of your love for the Lord Jesus Christ. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (Prov. 31:30)."

As our next "Mother-in-Chief," I pray the Lord blesses and keeps you. In closing, may "The Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. (Num. 6:24-26)"

Jean Stockdale, Fayette County