Jean Stockdale...

Monday Morning Manna for Moms #16-How to Raise Great Kids

Jesus Christ is the way, THE ONLY WAY, for a guilty sinner (that includes all of us) to be reconciled with a holy God. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” Salvation is wrought through a personal decision to receive Jesus Christ, by grace through faith. Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household (Acts 16:31). Please understand this. We cannot believe for our children. We cannot make our children receive Jesus. We cannot make our children behave right or believe right. Obviously a child raised in a home where at least one (preferably both) parent is a devoted believer, is more likely to desire to know Jesus. But the ultimate decision to receive or reject Jesus Christ rests with the free will of an individual. There is, however, much we can do to give them a taste for the things of the Lord.

Do not underestimate the influence your godly lifestyle can have in the life of your child! At the same time you must acknowledge that ultimately, the decision to receive or reject Jesus Christ lies in the free will of your child. NEVERTHELESS, your child’s right to decide for or against Christ does not negate the role your Christian testimony will play in that final outcome of your child’s decision.

In the Bible study I teach for MOMS we will be having a q&a session in a couple of weeks. I will be posting some of the questions I have received along with Biblical precepts over the next few weeks. We all want to raise great kids for Christ. God's Word tells us how to train up a child in the way he should go. Let's discover what God says together!

Monday Morning Manna for Moms #15-No, No, No!

 Baby Grayson stopped by for a visit. As he walked into my kitchen, my baby grand-who is currently 18 months old-pointed his chubby finger to the electrical outlet and firmly said, "No. No. No. No." He moved quickly to the coffee pot and again he said, "No. No. No." The cable outlet and again with the, "No. No. No. No." All the way through the downstairs, Grayson walked with determination, identifying the problem areas for an 18 month old and saying, "No."

Grayson was demonstrating a very important part of good parenting. Way to go, Dawson and Kathryn. He is learning to self-discipline himself. He becoming able to identify those things he should not do. And letting me know that he is aware of the temptation to touch but is refusing to give into it.

Teaching a child to activate self-control is important. We often fall into the trap of getting our child to control his behavior by strictly adhering to a list of external rules, rather than learning the life skills of learning how to access and activate internal controls. Ultimately for the Christian mom, the goal it to move your child from your total control (newborn to about age 6) to self-control (usually from 6-12 years of age when the spirit is awakening to the call of Jesus Christ) to the Holy Spirit's control. 

So moms, make a point to help your child learn the life skill of self-control. It will serve him/her well for the rest of his/her life.

Traditions #3-Random Thoughts

 Not to beat a dead horse, but I thought I might share some more insight to my series on Traditions. I am all for developing strong family ties and building traditions. However, as the mom of adult children I am in favor of stepping aside and letting my grown sons and their families build their own new traditions. 

When our oldest son married, I suggested we have Thanksgiving on the Saturday after the holiday. That way my son and his bride could go to her family's Thanksgiving (they live in town) and celebrate ours together on Saturday. No rushing from one house to another. No stuffing down 2 turkey meals in the same day. When our youngest son married, his in-laws also lived in town and they seemed grateful to be free to send time with her family on Thursday and ours on Saturday. I quickly discovered I could be just as thankful on an alternate day and not JUST on Thanksgiving!! And a NEW tradition was born.

Last year we canceled Thanksgiving all together. Time restraints and scheduling made a get together impossible. We opted are a dinner at a restaurant several weeks later when we could all be together. Even our new tradition had to be broken!! And guess what? It did not matter one bit. I quickly discovered we could be just as thankful on an alternate day and not JUST on Thanksgiving and not even the same week asThanksgiving!! Who knew?!?!?

Isn't the idea of every celebration to be together and enjoy the company of family and friends? Does it always have to be the same traditions? Craig and I had strong family traditions with our boys when they lived at home. We lived "all out" with them so that when the time came to release them, we could do it without regrets. But once they moved into the adult world, and then married, and then started a family - we felt they need to be set free to make their own new family traditions. If they include Craig and I, well great. If not, that is great too. We can celebrate Thanksgiving anytime or . . . not a all! We will celebrate the strong bonds of family and a common faith whenever we can be together.

Craig and I have built a relationship with our adult children that is built on love and respect. Our relationship is held tightly together by the bonds of love and not by expectations or obligations. Because of that we are able to enjoy a rich and rewarding relationship with our adult children and their spouses. And now, of course, with our grand-babies.

Too many parents are pressuring their adult children to continue to fulfill their long-standing family traditions. And the adult children are guilted into continuing without being given a graceful out. And it is coming at the cost of new traditions being built in the home of the adult children. And it may be causing problems in their home-creating resentment and resistance to build between them and their spouse. Is it worth it? 

More Random Thoughts Tuesday can be found right here.

Traditions #3-Gravy Maybe

I DID NOT use powdered sugar instead of corn starch to make gravy.

 

Seriously. I DID NOT.

 

*At this writing, I am just a few days past Thanksgiving. Since I love to cook, we have held this special celebration at my house for the last twenty years - give or take a few years. Just for your information, now that the guys have married, I usually host Thanksgiving on the following Saturday in order to let our children go to their in-laws home for Thanksgiving. Our adult relationship with the boys and the girls is based on a love relationship that seeks to honor and serve each other. It is not based on an obligatory relationship. If I felt my children ever came to see me purely out of obligation I would be grieved. I want them to enjoy coming for the fellowship and fun, not because they feel like they have to come. I also want to free them to make plans with the in-laws, who are also a very important part of my extended family. And I sure don’t want the kids to have to stuff down two turkey dinners on the same day! For all holidays we try to be very flexible to accommodate the boys and their newly established families. I am not bound to any family tradition. I got to do that when they lived at home but I laid down those expectations when they married. I want them to be free to set their own family traditions without having to consult or include me. I tell you this, because this is a hot button for every mom. You need to be settling these issues in your own mind because you will face them when you child grows up and leaves home. And, although you little preschool mommas don’t believe me, that is exactly what they are in the process of doing right this minute.

Now, back to my story. I had cooked any number of casseroles, had rolls rising, set out appetizers, made tea, created a centerpiece for my dining room table and was about to put ice in the glasses. We were eagerly anticipating the turkey’s arrival off of the grill. Everything was in place. Now it was time to make the gravy. I use chicken broth which I season, thicken with corn starch, and garnish with slices of hard boiled eggs for my gravy. It is delicious on my homemade Sausage and Pecan dressing. I told you I like to cook. Anyway, I brought my broth to a boil. I seasoned it carefully. I opened my cabinet and took out a plastic bag labeled cornstarch. It is my habit to remove the contents of anything that comes in a box and store it in a tightly closed plastic bag to avoid getting bugs in it. A never-ending battle I fight because of living of the country. I measured several tablespoons into hot water and stirred to dissolve it completely before adding it into the bubbling mixture on the stove. Typically the gravy thickens almost immediately. When I did not get the desired results, I mixed up more cornstarch and water and added it. Again, my gravy did not thicken. It looked pale and runny – not exactly what I was after.

 

A third time I added my cornstarch mixture to the thin gravy. By this point I was muttering under my breath, daring this gravy to mess with me and spoil my carefully timed array of food. I looked at my brew and it was still watery with absolutely no indication of any effort on its part to thicken. A thought crossed my mind, and I stuck my finger into the plastic bag marked cornstarch. I sniffed it. I tasted it. Curiously it was sweet to the taste. Cornstarch is not sweet. It was powdered sugar! I had been making gravy with powdered sugar, which was I convinced was cornstarch! No wonder I was not getting the desired results.

 

*Excerpt from my Bible study on 2 Timothy "Run Well. Finish Strong." To read the first lesson and/or order this book click right here and we will get it right out to ya'.

 

Recipe for the Sausage and Pecan Dressing will be up tomorrow. Linked to Not Me Monday and Making Friends Monday.

 

Even the best laid plans don't always work out. Do you have a holiday disaster to share?

Tradtions #2

Traditions. They tend to be the thing that bind us together OR the can become the thing that just plain bind us-leaving us unable to accept change and make a smooth transition into the changing seasons of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven."

I am the mom of 2 adult children. Our guys live nearby and so do their in-laws. After our oldest son married, I decided to suggest we celebrate Thanksgiving on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That way, the boys and their families were free to go to the in-laws without having to rush over to our house. On Saturday I would host our traditional meal and we would celebrate together. 

The first year I offered to make the chance, my darling brand new daughter-in-law said, "Are you sure this is okay with you? Won't you miss having Thanksgiving the way you always have?" No way. I don't need Thanksgiving to be thankful. Nor do I need to be bound by my own family traditions or put that onto my adult children. If I hosted it ON the day, our kids would be forced to either alternate years between the parents' home OR eat 2 turkey meals in one day! Now that they both have babies, it would really be a hardship on the little guys.

Traditions are a lovely thing. And we had lots of them when the boys lived at home. But at the appropriate time we released our guys into the adult world-fully responsible to God and under His authority-no longer under ours. As moms we are (supposed) to be in the process of working ourselves out of a job so our adult children can move into the adult world without apron strings strangling them or worse-interfering in their relationship with their spouse.

We are responsible to exert authority over our children as long as they live under our roof. But authority should be on a diminishing scale throughout the parenting years. Authority is to be gradually transferred from total control as an infant, slowly diminishing up to around age 18 as we train them to walk in the ways of the of the Lord, partially granted to them sometime between about 18-23, and fully released into the adult world. (Your family dynamic may be different from ours, but I think you can get the drift.) Authority is to diminish over the 20 years (more or less) that they live "on our dime". However, our Godly influence should be on a ever escalating scale as we grow in the ways of the Lord so that it will long outlive us and be felt down to the third and fourth generation.

One thing I have observed is that many Christian moms want to continue to "mother" adult children. This only communicates to your adult child that you don't think they can make wise decisions or think for themselves. This attitude binds an adult child from successfully transitionally into the adult world, taking a spouse and cleaving to the mate, and developing the adult roles God has designed for them. Why? Because mom won't stop motheirng!

Few people enjoyed motheirng as much as I did. And releasing my sons was much harder on me than raising them!!! I was a mess. Tears, tears, and lots more tears. But I knew the importance of turning them loose. And I am delighted to watch them build their own household of faith and take the role of spiritual headship in their home. These guys are tender warriors, servant leaders, men of God.

And of all things, I don't want to place unmet expectations on them. I don't want to create an obligatory relationship. And I don't want to be bound by anything but the cords of grace that first brought me to Jesus Christ!

Traditions are great. They bind us together. But if the cords of those traditions begin to strangle, to choke, to obligate, to coerce, to guilt an adult child into honoring our traditions over creating new ones with his own family -  well, sister girlfriends, that's just not right.

So how do you handle the holidays?

Tradition, tradition! Tradition!

My blog has been strangely quiet, although my life certainly has not been! But like you, I had turkey to stuff, ham to glaze, sweet tators to make sicking-ly sweet, biscuits to bake, dressing to uhhh-well, dress and macaroni to cheese. Family was coming!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, in fact, one of my all time favorite ones. But I have missed you, my bloggy friends. And we have alot to catch up on.

First of all, I will be announcing the winner of the give away this weekend. I ap0logize for letting that deadline get past me.

As you may know, I have taught Bible study to MOMS for the last 20 years. Twenty years. I KNOW! I have written 40 Bible studies designed to encourage and inspire women in the fine art of Christian mothering. My boys were 8 and 10 when I started teaching this ministry to MOMS. And I had no idea what path God had planned for my life, but I am exceedingly grateful for the privilege. Not only has it "forced" me to study God's Word and keep "short sin accounts", it has enabled me to spend countless hours with other like-minded moms.

One of the sweet side benefits of teaching MOMS, is that I have had no small number of moms pass through my life, sharing with me their amazing and sometimes aggravating adventures of training up children in the way they should go. One of the topics that tends to surface around this time of the year, is the issue of how to enjoy the holidays which involves honoring all the family traditions, making memories, and balancing time with the in-laws and extended family members without sacrificing the creation of their own immediate family's time and traditions together.

I think everyone can relate on some level. So here goes . . .

Think of Tevye singng in Fiddler on the Roof. Can you hear it in your head?

Tradition, tradition! Tradition!

Tradition, tradition! Tradition!

I am about to launch into a series on FAMILY TRADITIONS. And I know this is dangerous ground-messing around with generations of family traditions. But as the mom of adult children I want to share some insight on traditions. The treasure of traditions and the trap of traditions. The delight and the danger of them.  The fun and the frustration. The tension created between making memories and coping with the disappointment of unmet expectations. The precious balance between celebrating family bonds and the reality of creating obligatory relationships with our adult children.

I am the mother of 2 great grown sons. My guys are wonderful godly men who chose to marry precious godly women. Praise God. While the boys were at home, I invested my life in them and so did Craig. We poured unconditional love, affirmation, discipline, training, encouragement and the love of the Lord Jesus Christ into our sweet boys. Craig and I lived intentional Christian lives. And we parented with intention and direction. But ultimately we left the results of with the Lord. And they both chose to walk with the God we love.

We raised them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And when the time came, we released them. The Bible teaches we are to raise and release our children so that they can move into God's plan and purpose for them without the "over much" emotional involvement or entanglement of mom and dad (it is usually mom who just cannot cut the apron strings). God has a plan for your adult children. If they take a spouse, they will be able to cleave to the spouse and build their own household of faith. 

That is the Biblical perspective, but now how does that work? What does that look like?

As I have talked to lots and lots of moms, one of the thing they struggle with is juggling the needs of their immediate family and the often expectations of their parents or their in-laws, especially as it relates to the holidays. Understand this. These are godly women with a heart to honor the Lord Jesus, serve their family, bless their husband, care for their sweet little children, and walk in the ways of the Lord. Yet, they struggle because the extended family has one idea for the holidays, the in-laws want their fair share, and new traditions rightfully need to be created with her own immediate family. I told you this was dangerous ground!

So what's a mom to do?

I told you this was going to be a series. So stop by tomorrow and we will share some more. Blessings. And I hope you have a glorious holiday.

Podcast. Are You Kidding Me?!?!?

PODCASTING. Seriously. I have been teaching Bible study for MOMS for the last 20 years. My sons were 8 and 10 when I started. They are 30 and 28 now! When I began teaching MOMS I had no idea that this is what the Lord had for me to do with my life (beyond the whole wife and mom deal-I was sure THAT was His perfect will for my life-but this . . . who knew?) but teaching MOMS has become the driving passion of my life!

I teach MOMS every week (Sept.-Nov. and Jan.-Mar.) at Bellevue Baptist Church. If you live ANYWHERE in the Memphis area, please come and join us. We have a wonderful time on Thursday mornings at 9:30! For information go to www.believe.org and click on Women's Ministry. We have a nursery for the wee ones and we are offering a program for home-school kiddos. Seriously, you don't want to miss out on this! We will learn how to deal with the angry monster (in your life and in your children), we will learn how stop screaming at your kids (its okay-we all resort to it every once in a while), and we will learn how to use our words to affirm our family as well as how to honor and respect our husbands. And then we eat lunch. Because we work up quite an appetite learning all that stuff!

I can hear you now. You are making plans to join us even as we speak. But what, you ask, if you cannot attend. You don't live near Memphis. Or you work. Or you just had a baby and the idea of getting the baby dressed and you dressed at the same time is seriously out of the question. Good news. I have good PODCASTING news for you! The messages will be broadcast on a live video feed every Thursday at 10:45 CST, starting on Thursday September 17th. And, more good news. if you cannot join us on-line, the messages are achieved at the same spot. This year I am teaching on the Book of Ephesians. The study is called High Stepping in Heavenly Places. Would you like to learn how to live this faith thing out? Would you like to learn how faith looks in real life, flesh and blood, nasty now and now, with a houseful of ornery kids with their own ideas of whose in charge? Well, join us. On-line. And, more good news. If you would like the accompanying Bible study workbook, that will cost you $15.00 plus shipping and handling at my website www.jeanstockdale.com. Check it out and we will get that baby in the mail to you ASAP. You could even get you a bunch of your girlie girl MOMMY friends together and do it as an on-line group and meet one night a week while daddy watches the kiddos! I'm just saying!

Now, what if you can't join us at Bellevue and you can't watch the message on-line, then what? Well sisters, guess what? We are going to PODCAST the messages. That's right. PODCAST. We have got the computer program necessary and the directions and as soon as Ray and I can figure this baby out, well . . .  we are going to PODCAST my Bible studies from this here blog. I think (hope, really really hope) we will have the PODCAST up and running within a week, although this from a person who does not know how to do a thing but write on the computer, but I have PEOPLE. PEOPLE who know how to do stuff. Techie stuff. So . . . if Ray and I cannot get the silly thing to work, we are going to call in our people. So, keep checking back. And tell you MOMMY friends. Tell them to join us right here at this blog for a healthy dose of sanctified humor, practical advice of faith-walking as a mom, profound TRUTH from the Word of God, the added benefit of some funny stories from my crazy life. And who doesn't like funny?!?!

Now in order to try to start this up immediately (within this week) we are going to start by PODCASTING my study on Philippians called Joy in the Journey. Who doesn't like JOY! Every MOM needs some JOY in her life. So starting soon, you can click here and follow the directions to PODCAST and hear the 10-week series called Joy in the Journey, a Bible study for MOMS. If you would like to buy the 192-page workbook to go with the Bible study, go to www.jeanstockdale.com  and we will set you up for $15.00 plus shipping and handling. Please tell all your MOM friends to stop by and get some JOY 'cuz, sister girlfriend, we are PODCASTING. That's what I'm talking about . . . PODCASTING.

Now, one more thing. If you would use this service, would you please leave me a comment and tell me. That would be so greatly appreciated! Blessings.

The View from an Empty Nest

My Nest is Empty; My Heart is Full to Overflowing! My 2 boys are grown and married now. Each one has a son of their own they are raising. There is nothing quite as sweet to this mom's heart than to see my sons raising sons!! Here are 5 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Was Raising My Children.

1. My boys would end up being good friends. My boys were 2 years apart and I wondered if they would ever get along! As it turns out, they ARE good friends. They actually work together in a family business. They go to chruch together and their families regularly fellowship together. They have grown to appreciate their differences and celebrate the things they share in common!

2. How to maintain my balance. Balance has never been my strong suit. I tend to "over do" somethings and totally neglect others. I wish I had the eternal perspective I have gained through many years of walking with the Lord when my boys were young. It would have helped me keep my spiritual equilbrium and balance my priorities better.

3. Not to buy much. Children do not really need alot of physcical things. They much prefer your attention over more STUFF! Clutter is the bane of every mother. I wish I had bought fewer toys, fewer clothes, fewer things that needed to be dusted! Before you buy something you think you (or your children) cannot live without, just think - when you are sick of it and try to sell it at a garage sale, someone will ask you if you will take a quarter for it!  Do you really need it?

4. My boys would end up eating a wide variety of foods. Who knew? As adults they developed tastes for all kinds of foods they would never even try when they lived at my house. Hmmm.....the wives might have had something to do with that and GOOD FOR THEM!

5. My boys would love the Lord in their adult lives and build their own households of faith. For ever Christian mom this is HUGE. This is the thing we long for, but we are always wondering if we are passing down a living faith or raising a prodigal. This decision ultimately falls to them to decide to receive or reject Jesus Christ. But let's face it, there is much we can do that will affect their decision. I do wish I had prayed more, fasted more often, memorized more Scritpure AND rested in the Lord MORE OFTEN when they were younger.

This are 5 THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE YOUNGER.

**The powerful storms that lashed Memphis over the weekend took out our internet and phones. Sorry to be AWOL from the blogosphere for a few days.

Mr. Clean

I have 2 grandsons. Declan is 2 years old and Grayson is 1 year. For the first time in a long time, I have little ones crawling, walking barefoot, wallowing, worming, squirming, playing, and/or laying on my kitchen floor. Now I am in no way obsessive about keeping a clean house. To let you think otherwise would be misleading. But I am concerned about what our Baby Grands are exposed to while visiting at our house. Toddlers put things in their mouths. Things that have been on the floor. Toys. Fingers. Food. Whatever. So I have began to rethink what I clean with. I have rediscovered the value of vinegar for all-around cleaning. VInegar Works For Me. It is all natural. It is cheap. It does a great job and it eliminates the concern for harsh chemicals. This WORKS FOR ME.

This cleaning "recipe" is from a site called Vinegar Tips which gives about a million ways to use vinegar. Check it out.

Get a shining finish on a no-wax vinyl or linoleum floor by cleaning it with a solution of one cup white distilled vinegar for every gallon of water.

By the way, I have raised 2 little boys into men. Great men. Godly men. Great husbands. Fabulous daddies. Little boys are the only raw material God uses to build men. And He uses MOMS (just like me and you) in the process. Stunning, I know. Desperate, dysfunctional, damaged MOMS like me to raise children. Moms, like me, that quickly discovered I was in way over my head trying to raise children, and was left with no other option than to cast myself upon the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. And He has been FAITHFUL. "Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful for He cannot deny Himself." FAITHFUL. God is faithful. 

Having said that, MOMS, can I give you a word of advice? DO NOT TRADE A PERFECTLY CLEAN HOUSE (OR THE PURSUIT OF IT) IN THE EXCHANGE FOR TIME WITH YOU KIDDOS. Little ones grow up very fast. Investing in a house (or anything else for that matter) is a poor trade-off. While my own boys were young, we had a saying around our house. "We are raising boys, not a house."  I am not encouraging you to be slothful or lazy or neglectful. Homes must be maintained. But character must be built. Fun must be had. Memories must be made. Games must be played. Books must be read aloud. The love of the Lord Jesus Christ must be displayed in your (an mine) flawed humanity redeemed by grace. Otherwise, you are silently communicating the great value you place on your home, your reputation as a perfect mom, the pursuit of perfectionism, your value of possessions over people, and/or your need to meet unrealistic expectations. 

Sweet MOMS, step away from the sink. Put down the vacuum. Don't dust today. Grab some books. Gather your flock. Sit on the floor and play for a while. When your little guys ask, "Mom, what is up with this?" Give them a hug and tell 'em its a gift from ME. That, is what WORKS FOR ME!

I am launching a carnival on Friday called "Five Things Friday." Each week I write about 5 Things I Wish I Had Known When My Children Were Small. Please join me on Friday and play along.

Want some more WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY. Click here and go to We Are THAT Family.

5 Things Friday

Both of my sons are grown, married, and raising little boys of their own. They are building their own households of faith. One day their children will rise up and call them blessed. Now that I have raised and released my sons into the adult world, there are a few things I wished I had know when I was a young mom. Endless days of thankless jobs combined with interrupted sleep began to make me doubt my role in God's plan to use me to train up my children in the way they should go. Now looking back, there are five things I wish I  had known when they boys were young.

1. All the manners that I drilled into my little boys would meld together and become a cohesive part of the character. There nice manners would become a natural part of their interaction with family, friends and new acquaintances. Good manners would serve my boys well in school, in social settings, in personal relationships, in serving the Lord and His Church, and in the business arena. I wish I had known that those lessons in manners were gonna take.

2. Their teenage sass was a necessary part of separating themselves from us and beginning to own their own convictions and their own faith. This is not a fun part of training teens but it is necessary. Our teens could not live on our convictions or our faith. Defining their own faith was a messy process, but when it was complete both boys had grounded themselves in truth.

3. That logic patterns of making wise decision were being disguised by the emotional outbursts of typical teenage behavior, but the ability to make solid wise decisions were being developed and honed. Skillful decision making abilities were being cultivated, slowly but surely.

4. One day I would get to go to bed early and to sleep late. The promise of this luxury could have kept me hanging on for years. But I assumed I would never sleep again. Not so. I don't sleep well, but I do sleep.

5. In time they would exceed my love for the Lord and I would see them pursue, with passion, the Lord Jesus Christ. "I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth."

These are some of the things I wish I had known when my boys were young. How bout you? What do you wish you had known as a younger woman?

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Know for Sure:

As a young mom I wish I had known these five things. I think this knowledge would have enabled me to relax and enjoy the ride of motherhood just a bit more.

1. I wish I had known that one day my grown son would sit down and ask me, "So, tell me about your day."

2. I wish I had known that one day I will be able to go to sleep without wondering if a child would wake me up.

3. I wish I had known that one day my house would be so quiet that I would long for the noises that accompany a house full of kids.

4. I wish I had known that one day my grandchildren would love making noise and I would secretly smile at the full-circle moment. Two little boys in a tiny cottage home make lots and lots of noise. I did not like noise. They did. This was sweet payback, if you ask me. Payback. That's what I call it. Payback!

5. I wish I had known that my two boys would become great friends. At times, sibling rivalry was so strong-along with a natural competitive bent boys are created with-that I assumed our boys would not even be speaking to each other. Turns out they are great friends. What a blessing.

When I was a mom with little guys, I was convinced I was in the process of scarring my boys beyond repair. I expected to spend their college tuition on professional counseling to repair the emotional damage I had done to their psyche. I felt overwhelmed, overtired, overwrought, and under-qualified. 

The Lord Jesus was well-pleased with the widow's mite, saying she did would she could. Others did more. Others gave more. Others had more to give. But she gave what SHE COULD. As I mothered, I did what I COULD. Other moms did more, gave more, and had more to give. But God multiplied the work of my hands as I surrendered to Him. 

As a young mom I never felt adequate, but I continually cast myself on His grace as I raised my children. It was not always pretty. It was not always tidy. I was not always consistent in my efforts, but God knew my heart and He helped my boys to know my heart as well. He helped my sons overlook my momentary failures of the flesh and see my heart's desire, which was to pursue with passion the Lord Jesus Christ. He crowned my mothering efforts with His glory and produced 2 young men who are seeking after Him. I wish I had known that when my guys were little. Now you do! Perhaps this will help. Blessings.

Joy in the Journey-Trouble in Paradise! #9

A Fly in the Ointment

The Philippian church held a special place of affection the Paul’s heart. He wrote, It is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me. For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. (Phi. 1:7-8). Throughout his letter, Paul affirmed his love for them and the spiritual delight he felt for their forward progress with the Lord. But Paul was aware of a problem in the assembly of believers in Philippi. Sadly, there was a fly in the ointment!

I. A Word of Affirmation-Philippians 4:1 Paul longed to see his Philippian friends and co-laborers in the faith. He was homesick for them. In his mind’s eye, he could picture his dear friends and recall sweet times of shared fellowship. John wrote, You too may have fellowship with us; indeed our fellowship is the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ (I John 1:3). Sweet memories of the Philippian flock flood Paul’s soul, bringing joy to his heart and encouragement to his weary soul. Paul wrote, Therefore, my beloved brethren whom I long to see, my joy and crown, in this way stand firm in the Lord, my beloved (Phil. 4:1). Like a father proudly considering the godly maturity of his child, Paul reflected on the spiritual growth of the body of Christ in Philippi and it brought great delight to him. Paul writes, You are my joy and crown. In this way stand firm in the Lord. Paul knew God was at work among the Philippian believers. It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:13). But he also knew that they had chosen to cooperate with God’s purposes and plans in order for eternal work to be accomplished in their midst. It spoke to the maturity of the Philippian church and it produced joy in the apostle’s heart. Eternal rewards were laid up for Paul because of the Philippian congregation. They would prove to his crown in glory. A crown that the apostle would gladly cast at the nail-scarred feet of Jesus! So, Philippian church, keep standing firm in the Lord!

II. A Fly in the Ointment-Philippians 4:2-5 Solomon wrote, Dead flies make a perfumer’s oil stink, so a little foolishness is weightier than wisdom and honor (Ecc. 10:1). That is, when dead flies are discovered floating in a vat of perfumed oil, the whole batch is ruined! Dead flies give, even a vat of concentrated perfumer’s oil, a bad smell! And it only takes one or two flies in the ointment to spoil the sweet fragrance of the perfume and most is worthless. Likewise, in the body of Christ, one or two malcontents can spoil the fellowship and stink up the place! In the midst of the sweet aroma of a united fellowship, striving to fulfill the purposes and plans of God, a fly can spoil the ointment! Division among believers spoils intimacy in fellowship, shakes the faith of new converts, damages the cause of Christ to the unbelieving world, and breaks the heart of God. At the church of Philippi, Paul was aware of a fly in the ointment. Epaphroditus brought word to Paul of the conflict between two women in the congregation, Euodia and Syntyche. Paul urged the two women to reconcile their differences and live in harmony in the Lord (Phil. 4:2). Can you imagine what it felt like to be one of these two women? In a letter that contained no rebukes, no correction of doctrinal error, or reprimand for moral failure, in a letter that consists of positive encouragement to press on in the Lord, in a letter intended to be read publicly to the congregation, can you imagine? Can you imagine hearing your name announced as one of the two flies in the ointment that was spoiling the fragrance of Christian harmony? Just how much was holding on to that grudge worth to those two women? We do not know the details of the disagreement but I don’t think it was worth what it cost them. Mercifully, the reference to Euodia and Syntyche was brief. Much was left unsaid causing me to fear that the details were well known to the congregation. Paul’s gentle plea for unity is immediately tied to joy. These two women had lost the joy of Jesus. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near! (Phil. 4:4-5). The joy of the Lord produces a gentle spirit. Joy. Gentleness. Fruits of the Holy Spirit. That is the testimony the Christian world should be known for, not bickering and in-fighting!

III. A Plea for Peace-Philippians 4:6-9 Prayer and peace. There are two things every mom can use! Paul writes, Be anxious for nothing (Phil. 4:6). How do you avoid anxiety when children are involved? The answer is through prayer. Pryaer is a divine mystery. Why pray when God already knows our needs and requests? What’s the point? We do not know how prayer works but we do know that God designed it to encourage us to come to Him. He longs to hear from us. He delights to meet with us. He wants us to pour out our hearts in prayer and make our requests known to Him. The process of prayer allows us to formulate the cries of our heart into prayer requests, causes us to spend time developing a thankful heart, teaches us to praise the Lord, and invites us to participate in kingdom activity. While we cannot explain prayer, it is one of the loveliest of Christian disciplines and it moves us into a closer walk with the Lord. Prayer produces peace. How? Prayer brings the activity of the Almighty into play. It moves us from our earth-bound living and lifts our eyes to heavenlies places as we change our focus from our situation to our Savior. We begin to bring our circumstances in line with God’s heavenly perspective. Prayer produces confidence in God’s presence and power in our situation. It focuses our eyes on Jesus. Through prayer, we draw the courage to persevere, the ability to know God’s heart, the divine power to do God’s will, and the confidence to live in the audacity of faith based on the Word of God and made operational by the Spirit of God. Pure thoughts. Think on these things. Think on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy of praise. Think on these things. Think on Jesus. When we do, the peace of God distills upon our souls, reminding us the God of peace is with us (Phil. 4:9). Oh the joy of knowing Jesus!! He produces Joy in the Journe

Watch us live at www.bellevue.org today at 10:45 CT or later in the Archived Messages for MOMS Spring 2009-"Joy in the Journey" A Joyeous Look at the Book of Philippians.

Joy In the Journey-Lesson 8

Press On! Lesson Eight

Most Bible commentators consider the apostle Paul the greatest Christian whom has ever lived. Paul’s assessment of his own Christian life was much more humble. Paul would have summarized this season in his walk with Christ this way, “I have not already attainted spiritual maturity, so I press on.” From the moment of his encounter with the resurrected Lord of Glory, Paul was a new dramatically changed. Once the dread of the fledgling new church, Paul had terrorized believers. Paul, full of righteous rage, delighted to cast Christians in prison for their testimony for Christ. Paul attended the stoning death of Stephen and rejoiced to see the martyr’s blood run in the gutter. But all that changed. In an instant. In a moment of time. One glimpse of Jesus stripped Paul of all the religious ritual, pious pretense, and generational guarantees of God’s favor he was banking on. His Damascus Road encounter with Christ left him blinded and reeling from a glimpse of the Shekinah Glory of the Lord of All. In short order, Paul, the newly commissioned convert began an explosive ministry. Paul managed to stir up so much opposition in Damascus that he was forced to flee the city (Acts 9:25). While awaiting God’s direction in Arabia, Paul evangelized Arabia, Tarsus, and Cilicia before moving over to Syrian Antioch. He evangelized the island of Cyprus and founded a string of churches in Galatia. He championed the cause of Christian liberty and helped the elders of the Jerusalem church understand the covenant standing of Gentile believers. Paul described Gentile believers as wild olives, (who) were grated in among them and became partaker with them (that is the Jews) of the rich root of the olive tree (Rom. 11:17- parenthesis mine). Paul pioneered the work in Europe. He evangelized Ephesus and planted a church that was greatly used of the Lord to plant other churches in western Asia Minor. After years of fruitful ministry as a traveling evangelist, Paul found himself imprisoned in Rome for preaching the gospel. Chained to a Roman guard, the apostle turned his prison into a pulpit and continued to win converts in the ranks of the imperial guard and opening the door for the gospel into Caesar’s own palace. Yet Paul wrote, “I have not achieved spiritual maturity. However, I press on” (my paraphrase of Phil. 3:12).

I. The Pursuit of Personal Holiness-Philippians 3:12-14 God had mightily used the apostle Paul to enlarge the reach of the kingdom. However, the work was barely begun. Paul’s intention was to view his calling as if nothing at all had been done. His new plan was to put the past resolutely behind him and sets his sights on the work ahead. Paul wrote, Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:12). Paul set the past in proper perspective. The sins Paul had committed were under the blood. That is, Paul could get past his past (the sins committed prior to his conversion and those sins committed after).He we willing to receive the forgiveness Jesus Christ was freely bestowing (see Romans 3:25-26). Paul also saw his accomplishments through his Father’s eyes. Everything of eternal value Paul had been able to do, he saw as God’s power in him. He recognized that God was accomplishing His purposes through Paul’s yielded life and obedient heart. Like an athlete stretching forward to win the prize, Paul was following after Christ. Paul was competing, not against other Christians, but against himself. Striving to crucify the flesh, cast down the vain imaginations lobbed into his mind by the devil, and cut off the lure of the world Paul wanted to lay aside every encumbrance and sin and run the race set before him, with his eyes fixed on Jesus (See Hebrews 12:1-3). The prize was Christ-likeness, personal holiness, and practical righteousness. He was pursuing the ever-deepening knowledge of Christ – not for salvation but for sanctification. The goal was to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus laid him hold of him. Press on, beloved Christian. Press on! Run well. Finish strong. Stretch out toward the finish line and run. Press on, beloved Christian. Press on!

II. The Acknowledgement of Spiritual Immaturity-Philippians 3:15-16 Paul recognized not every one was going to line up with him on every point. “Let as many as are perfect, have this attitude,” Paul wrote (Phil. 3:15). Many of Paul’s contemporaries disliked him, feared his brilliant mind, resented his success, feared his zeal and passion, and resisted his message. Paul was not threatened by their disapproval or frightened by their disdain. Paul was not willing to engage them in debate and he was certainly not interested in becoming embroiled in futile arguments. Paul warned Timothy not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to ruin of the hearers (2 Tim. 2:14). Paul refused to lose his joy over those who were not making forward progress in their walk with God. God was perfectly capable of revealing error to those who were either baby believers, or misled and deceived, or poorly discipled in doctrinal truth. Paul was content to follow after Christ. And he encouraged his readers to continue to press on with the Lord. Paul wrote, Let us keep living by the same standard to which we have attainted (Phil. 3:16).Press on, beloved child of God. Press on!

III. The Reminder of Future Glorification-Philippians 3:17-21 Paul did not consider himself perfect but he was willing to take on the divine responsibility of being a role model of one who loved the Lord Jesus Christ. He urged his readers to observe those who walk according to the pattern of godly men and women (Phil. 3:17). Paul reminded his readers of the reality of false brethrens, who were ruled by all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and boastful pride of life (See 1 John 2:16). These false teachers masqueraded as believers to bring dissension and division into the body of Christ. There are many enemies of the cross of Christ, there are also many solid models for us to observe. Paul’s reminder of our future glory is enough to lift our thoughts from the misery and mire of this mortal world and cause us to fix our eyes on the heavenlies (Col. 3:1-3). The Lord Jesus Christ will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body f His glory. In light of that, beloved, press on. Press on!

To watch live video stream of this message,click here. The message is live on Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 10:45 CT and then archived at www.bellevue.org under MOMS Spring 2009 "Joy in the Journey". We will soon be posting podcasts of this series on this blog. Blessings.

Joy in the Journey-In Christ Alone I Stand! #7

In Christ Alone, I Stand!

As a young Hebrew student Paul’s hunger for knowledge combined with his strict standards had caused him to rapidly rise to the top of his class. Paul had excelled at his religious education, showing early signs of genius. He verbally sparred with his peers and handily outshone their meager performances with his razor sharp rhetoric and nearly photographic memory. He had rightfully won bragging rights over all the other students. The bright Jewish scholar brought his parents no small measure of pride when he went off to Jerusalem to sit under the tutelage of the renowned Jewish rabbi, Gamaliel. Paul, born a full-bloodied Jew of the tribe of Benjamin, from a child was thoroughly grounded in the Scriptures. His parents recognized the early signs of genius in their son. They carefully guided their gifted child and relished the brilliant future their son had ahead of him. His home life, his schooling, his accomplishments, his passion, his position were all part and parcel of the components to groom Paul for a coveted seat on the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling counsel. That is, until that moment. In a blinding flash Paul was intercepted by the resurrected Lord of Glory on the Damascus Road.

I. Religious Gains-Philippians 3:3-6 Prior to his conversion, Paul had vigorously pursued a life that conformed to the letter of the Jewish Law. That is, using his human giftedness, his acute mental capacity, and his ironclad willpower Paul had achieved greatness according to man’s standard. If anyone had reason to believe he could gain favor with God through human effort it was the apostle Paul. Paul wrote, If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more. No one had scaled such heights of religious ritual. He was born of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless (Phil. 3:4-8). On the human level, Paul could boast about his Jewishness. No one could have bested Paul in his national, tribal, or parental claim to his Jewish heritage. None could approach Paul’s zeal and enthusiasm for garnering religious (self-made) righteousness. A brilliant mind. A skilled orator. A learned scholar. A Hebrew of Hebrews. Paul was rapidly climbing the ladder of the Jewish hierarchy to rule the Sanhedrin. Paul’s rehearsal of his Jewish pedigree was directed at the Judaizers who mistook their strict religiousness for righteousness. Relying on a works-based manmade righteousness, they believed sinful man could find favor with God through good works, religious ritual, and strict adherence to the Law. The pretense of such heresy is laughable, knowing the sinfulness of unregenerate man and the fallacy of the flesh. In Paul’s day the rabbis were adding their interpretations and traditions to the Scriptures. As these oral teachings began to be written down, the Talmud emerged and nearly eclipsed the Torah! Piror to Paul’s conversion he too had been immersed in Jewish traditions and religious rituals. But then he met Jesus. Paul’s encounter with Christ revealed the inadequacies of man’s futile attempt to gain God’s favor by works of righteousness. Salvation is in Christ alone. Beware of what I call “pretty flesh.” Human effort clothed in religious activity by a believer or an unbeliever is little more than an attempt to disguise the flesh and make it presentable. When we rely on natural gifting, sheer willpower, or pretense “to perform” and appear to possess an acceptable measure of spirituality, we are controlling the flesh with the flesh. This exercise results in strengthening the flesh. Believers are to crucify the flesh and surrender to the Savior.

II. Spiritual Liabilities-Philippians 3:7 Prior to his conversion, Paul had been captured by the self-effort of a religious system, which was never intended to produce righteousness. He was relying on his personal Jewish pedigree, his religious education, and his good works to gain God’s favor and secure entrance into heaven. Paul’s manufactured religious gains had turned into a spiritual liability. His religious rituals had dulled his senses, masqueraded his sinfulness with self-righteousness, and blinded him to his spiritual bankruptcy and his desperate need for a Savior. Religion had gotten between his soul and the Savior. Then he met Jesus. One glimpse of the Lord Jesus Christ and all of Paul’s self-righteousness turned into filthy rags in his sight. Taking account of his religious balance sheet Paul’s wrote, Whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ (Phil. 3:7). Paul realized his religious gains were spiritual liabilities. He was religious, but lost. Morally upright, but spiritually bankrupt. Still dead in his trespasses and sins. Upon meeting Jesus, Paul discarded his synthetic self-made religious ritual for the substitutionary sacrificial death of Jesus Christ. An honorable standing before men based on self-righteousness could not compete with a perfect standing before God based on the finished work of the cross! Whatever things were gain are all lost to me for the sake of Jesus Christ! In Christ alone I stand!

III. Intentional Losses-Philippians 3:8-11 Paul wrote, More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ (Phil. 3:8). Nothing matters but Jesus. In Christ alone, I stand. Christ gave His life for us (justification) as that we might be found in Him, not having a righteous of our own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes form God on the basis of faith (Phil. 3:9). He now lives His life through and we are progressively changed into His image (sanctification) by the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death (Phi. 3:10). See Galatians 2:20. One day He will take us to heaven (glorification) where we will attain to the resurrection from the dead (Phil. 3:11). No other call to consecration can compare with Paul’s evaluation of Christ. Should we be able to grasp the truth of this text, the lure of the world, the lies of the devil, and the lust of the flesh would fade from our conscious state. The things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace! And, oh the joy!! Irrepressible, unexplainable, uncontainable Joy in the Journey!

To watch live video stream of this message,click here. The message is live on Thursday, March 26, 2006 at 10:45 CT and then archived at www.bellevue.org under MOMS Spring 2009 "Joy in the Journey". We will soon be posting podcasts of this series on this blog. Blessings.

Multiple Kid Mondays

As a Christian mom, I quickly discovered the presence of an  internal tension as I was training up my boys in the way they should go. I was forced to come to grips with the awesome responsibility God had entrusted me in the spiritual training of my children. Not only was I responsible for the physical well-being, the social development, and the intellectual training of my offspring, but above all things I wanted to see them come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior and walk in His ways all the days of their lives.

This desire to give my children a hunger for the things of God led me to study God's Word. I was desperate to know Him in order to influence my children for the cause of Christ. I knew I could not believe FOR them. That would be a personal decision between them and the Lord. My role was to live the reality of my faith and trust in the contagious nature of a life infused with Jesus Christ. 

My lifeline became the Book of Proverbs. Every day I read a chapter of Proverbs. With 31 chapters, in a month's time I could make my way through the book. At the end of the month I started the process over again. Over and over again, i soaked in God's wisdom scripted in the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs is uniquely written as a collection of God's precepts and principles for living a lift that honors Him.

My advise for raising children is to saturate your soul with the Word of God and surrender yourself to His Spirit in obedience, confidently trusting in Him to do the work in your life and in the lives of your children that only He can do. My buddy, Wendy, is hosting Multiple Kid Mondays. Click here to read more and add your thoughts on your blog and blog along with us! Blessings.

Five Things Friday

My boys are grown, married and have babies of their own. Raising them was great fun and now, watching them build their own household of faith is the greatest joy of my live. John wrote, I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in faith. Amen to that!

My perspective on parenting from the rear-view mirror has given me a unique perspective. Here are 5 things I wish I had known when they were small.

1. That the best parts of their personalities, those things I particularly loved about them when they were small, would remain in tact and become amplified in their adult life. 

2. The manners I spent so much time teaching them would stick and become a natural part of their lives. 

3. They would eat a wide variety of foods, including vegetables. All those years of cooking and coaxing, "Try it. You'll like it. It's good for you" finally paid off.

4. They would learn to sit still. When they were little guys, I would have never believed either one of them could sit still for a minute.

5. They could walk through a doorway without jumping up to touch the wall above the molding - although I confess, I do miss seeing their hand-prints on the walls!

I wish I had known these things when my boys were young. It would have saved me some agony and grief. Next week I am going to host a carnival and invite you to add your 5 Things to my list. Each week will be a different topic of 5 Things. Please join me. Blessings.

The Difference Between Childishness and Disobedience

As you parent your multiples (or singles!) learn to tell the difference between childishness and disobedience. Children do childish things. It is born out of immaturity, not defiance. It includes spilling things, breaking things, losing things, etc. Childishness does not deserve discipline. It  must be trained and taught into maturity, but it is not the same as defiantly refusing to obey, which is disobedience. 

Moms, "be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20). Moms, as you attempt to judge your child's behavior, be slow to discern if it is childishness or disobedience. Be slow to react or respond. And if it is disobedience, and requires a measure of discipline - be very sure you do allow your frustration and aggravation to push you to punish in anger. 

There is a difference between childishness and disobedience. Learn to discern! For more tips on mothering with multiple kiddos, click here and go to Wendy's site at Mommy Of Four. Blessings.

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Wished I Had Known as a Young Mom

1. That sibling rivalry is very normal. For a few years there, I did not think my boys would be even be speaking by the time they left home! But in time, the childishness of sibling rivalry gave way to a strong friendship between my guys.

2. My guys would not be bound by fear. I came to know Christ as Lord and Savior at the age of 24. One of the many issues I brought into my Christian life was fear-an unhealthy ungrounded fear of everything! I began to work towards learning how to overcome fear and walk in faith. I was concerned that I might emotionally handicap my guys with this issue. The day I got a call from my son, who was backpacking Europe with college friends, to tell me he had just bungee jumped . . . well, I knew I had successfully not passed on this natural tendency of mine!

3. God was preparing the most fabulous mates for my men. I wish I had known I would get "bonus babies." That is what I call my daughter-in-laws. We got us some girls and I did not have to birth them, or raise them. Instead they arrived in my home (and in my heart) fully grown, in love with the Lord, and in love with my guys. 

4. God would prove Himself faithful in more ways than I can count.

5. While I was mothering my boys, God was parenting me! He used my boys to teach me so much about the Father's love, His patience, His grace and His unfailing mercy.

I wish I had know these things as I sought to raise up these boys in the way they should go. Both guys are now married and have babies of their own. If you are still in the midst of mothering, I rise up and call you blessed!

Joy in the Journey

Mothering is a tough job. It is usually thankless and it can quickly steal your joy. How do you have joy when life falls apart? How can you have joy when difficult circumstances threaten you? I it even possible to have joy in the midst of the hard seasons of life?

Do you want to have joy? Not just happiness when the circumstances of life are producing a respite. I am talking about joy-hilarious, unspeakable, outrageous, unending JOY. Joy that springs forth from the wellsprings of a continual river that flows from your innermost being. I am talking about the joy that only Jesus gives.

Paul wrote the book of Philippians during one of his imprisonments. Chained to a Roman guard and confined to house arrest for two years, he wrote of the outrageous joy that Jesus provides. Join us on Thursday morning at 10:45 CT at www.bellevue.org for a live video feed of a message entitled "Choose Joy!" Click on Watch & Listen Live and follow the directions. A handout of the message will be provided later in the day. So grab you Bible and come and study along with us.

To purchase a the Bible study of Joy in the Journey, click to www.jeanstockdale.com. The 200-page interactive workbooks sell for $15.00 plus s/h. Full of profound truth, practical insight and personal illustrations, I invite you to come along and enjoy the faith walk of joy in Jesus Christ.

Five Things Friday

Five Things I Wished I Had Known When My Kids Were Little:

1. They were going to turn out to be great and godly adults. We would enjoy a wonderful adult relationship and friendship with them.

2. My boys would grow up to be really good friends. During the days of brotherly competitiveness and sibling rivalry, I wondered if they would even like each other! Turns out, a strong bond of love was being forged that produced a great adult friendship.

3. Forgiveness from my boys would be freely and fully offered when I apologized and asked for forgiveness. Neither ever seemed to hold a grudge for any of my many failures.

4. When the boys were little, I wish I had known how few of the things I obsessed over, would actually end up mattering in the scheme of things.

5. When they were little, I wish I had understood that the best memories made were not my carefully crafted events, but rather the spontaneous moments of family. The boys knew Craig and I were striving to be blameless before them in the Lord, and they admired us for it.

I wish I had known these things when my kids were young.