I am bringing my series on irregular people to a close as the holidays breathe down our necks. I hope they have been helpful. Here are some recaps.
1.Not all relationships that present themselves in our lives are healthy. Some are toxic.
2.As a Christian, we are to extend love and grace to everyone. We are ambassadors for Christ. We can do this without letting an irregular person use our emotional well-being as a punching bag.
3.We are not required to allow any one to repeatedly wound us. We can set up some healthy boundaries and still maintain our Christian testimony. Ask God for wisdom to help you with this difficult person. (James 1:5-8).
4.We need some strategies for being with this person. My previous posts have some suggestions.
5.We need to accept the fact the irregular person is emotionally crippled and cannot relate well with us. We may never know where their pain is emanating from, but even if they choose to vent it on us, we do not have to receive it. It takes 2 to tug-a-war. When they "throw down" the rope, refuse to pick it up. Say, "Hmmmmmm" and busy yourself with something. Walk away without taking the bait. We are not responsible for their actions; we are responsible for our reactions. Big difference!
6.Generally, confronting your irregular person will not have the desired outcome. They are not looking to change and they are particularly not interested in YOU helping them change. Learning to live within the limitations of the damaged relationship is generally best. Make this a matter of prayer. I am speaking in general terms and God may lead you differently.
7.In a nutshell, but ministry oriented towards this person and emotionally distant. This allows you to extend God's love to them without allowing them to "terrorize" you emotionally.
Some of you are dealing with people who have wounded you so deeply that you are in emotionally bondage. Your person has slashed you and left you bleeding (mentally and emotionally) in the wake of their cruel words. These people do not just "rub you the wrong way." This is not a matter of personality differences. Irregular people pierce your soul with calculated cruelty and purposeful pain. Why? I cannot fathom the reason anyone would do this. And typically it is a member of your extended family. If you genuinely have an irregular person in your life, my words are resonating in your heart. Physically you are suffering from their repeated verbal jabs and barbs. Emotionally you are reeling. Spiritually you are drained. Look to the Lord. Read and mediate on Psalm 91 as your prepare to spend time with your person over the holidays. Ask the Lord to help you rise above the downward pull of your flesh that would love to retaliate.
What is the right way to handle an irregular person? In a nutshell, be ministry minded and emotionally detached. Write and let me know how this works for you. Tomorrow I will post one more. And then it is every man for himself!!
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