I have a tip for you. If you are going to be interviewed on television, DO NOT apply self-tanner the day before. The results you will get will not be satisfactory. This I know from personal experience. It is a Life Lesson Learned the hard way. 
On Saturday night I said to myself, "Self, what if we used a bit of self-tanner and gave ourself a nice healthy glow before going on Live at 9 on Monday." Self said, "Grand idea." Not so much, self, not so much!
I used a product, purchased on Friday, that came in a gift package. I wanted the mascara; I got a gift of the tanner with purchase of the mascara. By the way, after this experience I have not yet tried the new mascara. Stay tuned and I will let you know how it works out. The tanner did not have any directions with it. First clue in life lessons-no directions. Run, Jean, run. I checked on line and no directions. Second clue. Run faster. Run faster, Jean. But I doggedly plunged ahead because me and my Self thought this was a good idea. I lightly sprayed my arms, hands and neck. Thankfully I did not spray my face! Several hours later I was still quite pale. What would it hurt, I thought, if I sprayed again. Seriously. What would it hurt? I sprayed and then I slept. On Sunday morning I was greeted with this, thank you very much!
Panicked, I began to try every exfoliator and every make-up remover in my cabinet in a frenzied effort to remove said self-tanner from my skin. Craig googled self-tanner. A series of home remedies came up and I tried them all.
Lemon juice with salt. Baking powder. Hydrogen peroxide. Clorex. And yes, folks, even Ajax! That's right-Ajax. Straight. I poured Ajax on my hands and rubbed with all my might. I gave up on my arms since I was going to wear a long sleeved jacket, but my hands. Oh mama, my hands looked awful.
Awful!
Seriously! I don't recommend this, and the product labels certainly encourage users to avoid contact with skin, but what can I say. I was desperate.
What was I thinking? I just had to have a "healthy glow." I just had to try a self-tanner before my television interview. I couldn't have tried it on Tuesday before my radio interview with WCRV. Oh no. I had to wait until I was going to be on Live at 9 and then self-tan! "So Jean, how did that work for you?" Self asks. "Not so good," Jean replies in shame. 
On Sunday afternoon my very sweet husband, Craig, went into the very large make-up and beauty supply store from whence the vile concoction that is self-tanner had come from and purchased a product designed to remove unsightly self-tanning stains. And a brush. He bought a brush. A stiff one. When he got home, where I remained sequestered in my shame, I poured the concoction onto my chocolate-stained fingers. I welded that brush with all the strength I could muster and I went after it-driven by the knowledge that I was going to be on television in less than 24 hours! I scrubbed. I rubbed. I scrubbed some more. May I just say I currently have the softest hands in the world. I may have gone down several layers and removed every skin cell that was not totally committed to remaining on my hands by attaching itself to my skeletal frame, but I digress. I was able to budge the tiniest bit of stain from my hands. I went to bed knowing I had done all I could to correct my lapse into the self-tanning world (which is now dead to me, by the way).
On Monday morning I was still rather grotesquely spotted but there was nothing else to do. As I dressed I reminded myself that even though I was spotted on the outside, because of Jesus, I was whiter than snow. And that, my friend, is all that matters! My sins had been scarlet, but I have been washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. I stand before Him whiter than snow. And that, beloved, is a life lesson wort learning. After all, that is all that matters! Blessings.
Sweet bloggy friends-Can you just eat this face up with a spoon or what? Oh how my heart hurts when I see this face! Oh the joy!
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